yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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