Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
