I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How naked do you want me to be?
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