i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
