Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
