i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
