JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
