just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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