wakey wakey hands off snakey
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fuck appropriateness.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
