i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
