his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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