Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
