i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
