No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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