How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is wine microwaveable?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
