I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
