I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
