Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
