now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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