Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
