You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
