yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
