Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
