can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
