Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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