I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
