Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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