Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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