just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have tasted many bathrooms
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
