is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
love makes seman taste better
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
