return my video game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
