i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
