oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
