Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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