I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
