operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
