Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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