Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
