...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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