Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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