she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
