this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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