giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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