So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
