Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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