yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
