i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
