Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
birth control should be required to get into college
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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