Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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