i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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