the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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