CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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