Slut skills are useful in every country.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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