You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
